How to argue with a drunk

Right, we've all experienced it before, you know your right (hell, it might even be you thats the drunk[er] one) They *think* thier right. This means that, obviously, you need to win in a delicate battle of mindpower and strategical thinking. After a few beers, most people concieve themselves as invincible and some sort of omnipotent being who could not possibly be flawed. Here Mr.Character explains everything you need to have in your metaphorical arsenal to defeat a drunkard in an argument:


1) The louder you talk, the better, use this to your advantage

2) Mention the same one point repeatedly, i repeat, mention the same one point repeatedly. After 5 or so repeats the drunk may (or may not) finally be able to grasp what it is you are trying to get across to them. Even if its a silly, obvious argument like "the capital of england is definately london" you always have to mention the same one point repeatedly.

3) Be patronising. This will, firstly, work to your advantage if there happen to be any onlookers and secondly gives you the moral high ground.

4) Never let them think you agree on a subpoint. This can make them think they're right about everything, even if they are right, a good use of vocabulary can be used to prove that they're wrong.

5) Never, EVER, walk away. This means they win - and you don't want that.

6) Overexaggerate EVERYTHING.

7) The key to arguments is being right in the first place. Try to do that.

And remember: All your carefully worded arguments are falling on deaf ears.