|Protop: Don't piss off the guy with the gun.|
How to survive school and/or college
* Get yourself stereotyped - Unfortunately, educational establishments are places where you have to conform or die. It doesn't matter which click your with, be it jocks, chavs, nerds, bikers or whatever. You just can't navigate the social hierachy by yourself. You can't try and get along with everyone because thats just long and is too much effort for anyone to feasibly do. Just try to fit in. Ususally you'll be fine doing this if you have friends...
* Humour - Be funny, everyone loves a joker. I was very nearly a social outcast in school, but because i could crack jokes in the classroom it was all well and good. Becoming a class clown of sorts makes it a lot easier to get by.
* Fight - You'll need to this in order to not get bullied. If someone steps to you i recommend a swift fist to the jaw. Chances are they won't come back again. Being good at throwing around derogatory terms to dickheads is also an idea. Just make sure that you don't become the dickhead that everyone else hates. Self-defence, not "let's attack people". Don't shoot up the school though, usually you can only do that once.
* Be fit - Strong, athletic people get on a lot better in life than weak pathetic people. Do push-ups. Gratuitous amounts of them.
* Have a unique thing - Whilst the sterotyping thing still holds true, you should also have something that makes you stand out from the crowd, to make you seem less boring. This way people will like you and it will all be good. (as long as your unique thing isn't something fucktarded like licking the windows in the classroom for 20p, your trying to fit in, not be a laughing stock.)
* Don't worry - Your future isn't going to get completely anal raped forever because you got a C in a mid term biology exam. Shit isn't as dramatic as teachers try and make out. Relax and everything will be fine.!