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Saturday, 4 September 2010

Surfing the highstreet

As some of you may or may not know, there is actually an alternative to internet shopping (weird, yes) For those of you who have to go down the plethorea of shops collectively known as a "high street" Mr.Character has developed his newest guide.

Warning - To go onto a high street, one must be a brave soul

Breeding ground of rage


* First things first - remember where your bus stops/you parked. Its very easy to get lost (especially if your not really familiar with it) and you could be stuck wondering for hours. Take a map of some descritption with you if you really need to.

* High streets are filled with what are known as retail stores. Retail stores allow you access to goods and services in exchange for your hard earned money. Unlike on the internet, these places can be haggled with, no exceptions. Take a good look at omar dijali and then you'll get a good idea as to how to haggle like a boss. Learn this art and shopping becomes so much cheaper.

* Despite what you may think, the high street can be a half-decent place to find members of the opposite sex, remember to bear my old guides in mind and don't come on too strongly, or thats just weird.

* On the contrary, the high street is also full of dickheads. Remember to stare out these little shits and don't lose in these battles, ever. Consider them similar to pokemon battles (but without the pokemon) and you'll be fine.

* Don't get too much stuff at one time (unless you have a wife, which you don't.) as carrying shit is heavy and you'll have to take literally everything you've bought and lug it around to every shop all whilst obtaining new things.

* Know what your getting or don't bring out more monies than you need - Window shopping can be expensive. Don't buy shit you don't even need. When buying shit like clothes remember to ask yourself "will i still need this in 2-3 years" If the answer to this question is no, don't even bother with it or you could lose out on a lot of monies for not a lot of useful stuff.

* Eat before you go out - As high street food is expensive and usually shit. Also bring your own drink. Money saved already - wayhey! It also helps you to stop impulse buying if your out food shopping.

* Annoy those people that give you cards and shit in public and preach about whatever it is you don't wanna be listening to today. These people are perhaps the most irritating people in the world, and it is your duty to do your bit to make sure they go away and never come back.

And there you have it, another comprehensive guide, another place you can go to in public. Your just getting better and better at this (Btw, if anyone has any ideas for guide's they'd like to read, please comment saying and i'll see what i can do)
Enjoy your shopping.

19 comments:

  1. BOOM, Support everywhere !

    http://two--click.blogspot.com

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  2. Lmao. I hate the high street, it's only good for people-watching considering how many pissheads and junkies are about.

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  3. I love this guide, makes me wanna go to high street and fight some dick-heads.

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  4. Nice blog. Showing some daily support.
    http://thecrispyguy.blogspot.com/

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  5. That's interesting. But i love eating out so I'm gonna keep going out hungry anyway

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  6. You are really good at writing funnies! Will check back often. Now a follower!

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  7. What a nice lite blogg, I feel all warm in here.
    I will follow! :)

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  8. That's very true... I'm following you now!

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  9. Just noticed how many times i'd used the word "shit" in this article. Apologies for my potty mouth (get it?)

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  10. Nice read man, defiantly following ya.

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  11. Showing some daily support for my followers! :D

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  12. Shopping in the high street, back in the day before I became obsessed with the internet.

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