Wednesday, 8 September 2010

What not to do at a pub

Alright, for a moment, albeit merely a brief instant, Mr.Character is going to assume the articles he writes is usually read by people of a legal age. For this reason, The latest guide is about what not to do at a pub as there is many an example of people being completely fucktarded and he would like to put a stop to it.

* Dress inappropriately - Actually show up cleaned and all and don't wear a hoodie to a formal social interaction - duh. At the same time, its probably best to not go all "suit and tie" mode (Although i'd be surprised if you even owned a suit and tie)

* If your having pre-drinks, make sure you can handle your drink - Im all for having a fun time, but you don't wanna be the guy puking in the flowerpot at 8pm. People won't look at you for the rest of the night (except to laugh) and the puke stains on your clothes probably won't go down too well with the ladies.

* Buy people drinks - If you have just met a girl im going to tell you to NOT buy them drinks. This is because women tend to be sponges, they'll take the drink and you'll never hear from them again. Of course, you don't want to be scrooge and never be charitable in any manner, but make sure you've spoken to them a bit first so that you'll be able to maintain thier attention.

* Have an argument with the bartender - Unless you never want to go to said pub again. This could also piss of the locals and leave you having to manouver your way out of the place under a barrage of chair legs and broken glasses. Good luck.

* Be a dick - Noone really wants to hear about some perfect dude with no faults at all. It won't make you popular and noone gives a fuck. Pack it in. Modesty is key.

* Order the "special drink" you've never heard of - This mostly applies for when your in foreign pubs where you may not be privvy with thier customs. Stick to drinking what you know. You don't want to be drinking the lizard penis marinated in lime spritz

* Kareoke - I disagree with this concept entirely. You probably can't sing and attempting to do so doesn't make you any better. If you can actually sing, singing in a bar will not get you anywhere so find somewhere better. This kinda stuff is for 45 year old parents. Don't do it, its cringeworthy.  -sidenote: you get worse the more you drink, go figure-

Whilst i maintain this is not a definative guide (there is SOOOO much stuff you shouldn't be doing, thats just common sense) I feel that, yet again, this guide will enable you to live a live with so much less fail.

Comments please, i love feedback, anywhere need improving?


  1. There's some interesting points in there.
    And I do own a suit (clicked your ad at that point) :) lol
    follow, click, comment on the vids if you can

  2. good tips, good blog, good work!

  3. I can agree with the karaoke more.

  4. More people should read this.

  5. love the post... I want to see moar!

  6. I tend to wear zip up hoodies in the winter when I'm out to the bar because they're easy to take off if you get too warm and still keep you warm enough for that journey to the car when the night is over, plus you have something to put around the girl you take home.

  7. I avoid singing and sometimes dancing, If I'm drunk enough I'll have a good dance haha, I don't like pubs though - expensive!

  8. I never thought of it that way... interesting

  9. you almost just told me not to go in any pub again :(((

  10. Showing some almost-daily love for your blog.
    You know what I mean.;)

  11. that's something I definitely have to try!

  12. So very, very true.

    Though I'm surprised you didn't have a point on what not to do when attempting to attract the opposite sex.